A Case of the Mondays

Lately I have found myself more burned out than usual towards my "real" job. I am not sure if its because the clinic is always busier in the summer and I pick up more hours or if I have just been doing it too long. Normally its those clients that drive you nuts that get me or other workplace drama but lately its been the animals. People often say "oh you work at a vet clinic so you must play with puppies and kittens all day!" Um I wish. Sure there are puppies and kittens that come in and theres often a fight over who helps in those appointments but for every puppy there is 2 sick or old dogs. Its the sadness that's been getting me. Watching an owner cry because their 6 year old dog has cancer or an old mans heart break when he learns his best friend wont make it. Or seeing people who just don't care for their animals, who bring them in when their wounds start to make a mess on carpet. Lately its been too much for me. Normally I can turn my brain off to that, but I am just tired, burned out and want to stay home safe in my studio.

These feelings led to a discussion with my husband this weekend about other jobs. Majoring in art is something I will never regret however I am not sure if it left me with a lot of marketable job skills. I thought about the things I am interested in and realized most I would have to go back to school to do. Like being a librarian, interior designer or a pastry chef. There are a lot of hats I have always wanted to try on. Unfortunately my inner artist makes me a dreamer and like many dreamers I find it hard to focus on one thing and that includes classes and school. I am not going to go back to school,  I have no interest in taking out more student loans. For now I will stay at the clinic because its hours are somewhat flexible and I cant find another job good enough for me to leave.

I often remind myself that I wont work at the clinic forever and someday I will do whatever I want to do, be it ceramics or making doughnuts. Five years ago if you had asked me if Chris and I would someday own a  house and I would be able to work part time I would have told you no way, so when I get burned out I remember that things can change quickly and its tortoise that won the race, slow and steady working towards a goal. It wont make watching a euthanasia any easier but it gives me something to keep in front of my mind,  a dream to actually focus on and keep my anchored when other things get to be too much.

What other dreams have you had? Do you find yourself wishing you had other hats to put on? What keeps you sane when the "real" world is too much?

Figuring it all Out

This year I will be turning 29 (yikes!) and I find myself spending a lot of time thinking about what I really want. Not so much what I want I guess but where I want to go. I know what I want: to be Chris's wife, a dog and cat mom, an artist, and a good cook. But what kind of artist? What am I really looking for? Where do I want my career to go? What am I ready to give up to get there?

Recently I have been chatting online with another local ceramic artist I previously meet briefly a few times. We have a talked a lot about making a living as an artist and different upcoming shows. Through these conversations I have realized a couple of things. One I really wish I had a studio surrounded by other artists, I miss that. And two I really have no idea where I want my career to go, I know where I want my life to go and am happy with the direction its taken, but I have no idea where I want to take my art or let it take me. I feel a little aimless not sure where to go next. The more I think about it the only thing I know for sure is I don't want to be an artist that makes a living doing "craft" shows. They are a lot of headache, packing and fees. I enjoy Artsfest but I also enjoy not having to do that every weekend. I also like making work sometimes that I know may not sell, if I am going to make a living doing craft shows I can focus only on what will sell.  Creating the chess set and the body of work for Embracing Your Inner Monster were two of the most satisfying artistic things I have ever done, neither of those things were right for anything but a gallery setting.

In a perfect life I would have an awesome studio where I could sit all day and just make work and do with it as I please. Maybe I would enter it in a show, maybe I would go to an art fair, maybe I would just put it in my living room. Unfortunately life isn't perfect and without goals what am I working towards? The good news is though I don't feel it I am still youngish and have a whole life to figure it out. My sister likes to tell me someday we will both end up on the cover of Art News, I don't know about that or if fame and fortune lies my way. I know while I am figuring it all out I will keep making monsters, and maybe the monsters will decide for themselves the path they want to take.

Sneaky Mini Vacation

Last week, like the ninjas we are, Chris and I managed to sneak in a mini vacation that we really needed. To be honest I could so with a real vacation but a few days off is a good start. Through some random miracle we were both able to get Thursday off so we had 4 glorious days to ourselves. I decided I was even going to take few days off from ceramics, after the bookend disaster I need to rethink a few things. So mostly we cooked at home, watched old movies, and explored some parts of Hagerstown we had never been.

A few things of note that happened:

* I watched the original Karate Kid for the first time, I see why its such a classic now. Wax On. Wax Off.

* We finally went to the library in Hagerstown, which to my disappointment we could have put off. Its very tiny, which is fine but sadly has very few books. I found 5 books I would be interested in that I haven't read and took out 3. I love libraries and was shocked my husband had never been as a child. He didn't even know they are free! So here I am talking about how fabulous libraries are, and we walk into a tiny place with empty shelves. Bah. Near the library there were some cute looking restaurants and a used book store, so there is still some hope for that part of town.

*We went to the Hagerstown City Park and that was wonderful! Imagine my shock to find an awesome park hiding in the shabby downtown! Below are some pictures from the park I took right before my camera died. Sookie almost got into a fight with a swan, and I am sure the swan would have won! I saw a kind of duck I have never seen, Chris and I looked it up and its called a Muscovy Duck I think, its third down in the pics.

*Yesterday I went to go see my work proudly displayed in a museum! That is an awesome feeling!!! I had mixed feelings on some of the work, some was really, really amazing, some maybe not so much. But I feel that way about most juried shows and was very honored to be a part of the show, and my chess set is right in the middle of the gallery too! I will blog more on this show when I get some pictures from my friend who was there and extract the few I took from my blackberry.

Sometimes you have to take time to recharge your batteries and Chris and I were beyond running on empty. Its good I took the time to charge up to as I have 3 commissions lined up and a huge clean up waiting for me in my studio and office. Back to the grind!

Lessons Learned

As it often is in life the best lessons are often the ones that are the hardest and sometimes most painful to learn. This weekend for the first time I did an outdoor demo to promote my work and the gallery I am in Annapolis, Art Fx. I learned several important things, some of the lessons I got this weekend were a little harder to swallow than others.

I learned first off that I actually really like doing demos. People seemed very interested in what I was doing, how it worked and what the sculpture I was making would end up as. Too my surprise because normally I feel awkward around kids, they were the most fun asking the best questions and being the most interested. I also got to try to convince them that my lovely assistant and husband made the giant footprints on the side walk. One little boy wouldn't leave until I put the heads on the dogs I was making! It was a lot of fun to sit outside doing what I love and sharing with anyone who wanted to see, I hope to do more demos soon! It also made me realize that maybe teaching a class somewhere a long the line, might be more fun than I thought.

I also however learned a harsher lesson this weekend, one I should have learned long, long ago. Don't wait until the last minute to do things and to listen to my inner "Joyce". Joyce was my teacher and mentor and Hood and sometimes I pretend there is a little Joyce on my shoulder telling me something isn't working. Unfortunately I have been insanely busy, not an excuse though I used it as one. So I left finishing the bookends to the last minute and ended up with a product I was less than thrilled about and that honestly is below my standards. It ended up being a hard lesson for me to take, I never like to show work that's less than my best and knowing I only had myself to blame made it that much worse.  However the hardest lessons are the best and I think given some time I can salvage the bookends and I promise the mistakes I made here I wont make again. I also learned I really need to find out more about woodworking if I am going to continue these kind of projects. Sigh, one more thing to add to the list!

All and all I was glad I signed up to do the demos and I hope I have the opportunity to share my sculpting with the public again soon, however right now I am going to pay attention to another hard learned lesson, when the dog is whining take her for a walk or you may come home to this.

Gargoyles. Gargoyles, Gargoyles!

Last week my sister came to visit (yay) and while she was here I finally got to visit the National Cathedral in DC. It was beautiful, the architecture was fabulous and the gargoyles of course awesome. My only disappointment and its minor is the gargoyles are hard to see and I was glad my camera has an awesome zoom. Thank goodness for that because we didn't bring binoculars so without I wouldn't really have been able to appreciate the gargoyles. I have had a super busy, fun and family filled week so I will leave you with some pictures from our trip to DC. I highly recommend a trip to the Cathedral bring binoculars and a picnic lunch, the gardens attached are almost as wonderful as the gargoyles!